My childhood friend and long time buddy has requested that I write a post on relationships. So I decided to write about LDRs using myself as a practical example ;
A long-distance relationship (LDR) is a relationship between partners who are geographically isolated from one another. Partners in LDRs face geographic separation and lack of face-to-face contact unlike every other regular relationship. Many people believe that long distance relationships are never going to work out; your family may discourage it, and some of your friends may advise you not to take it too seriously, in case you get your heart broken, but contrary to that belief LDRs do work.
I am in a LDR and am doing just fine. Am not saying it is an easy one; naah don’t get me wrong it isn’t, as the extra distance makes many things unachievable. Things could get complicated, and you could get sad and alone at times. However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest, being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long distance relationship.
Long distance relationship may be tough but it has its own surprises too. Am going to share tips on what I have been doing to deal with a LDR and my partner- Gabby Bear is going to be referred to as GB;
- Stay optimistic: Every relationship has its own ups and downs, this is mine and I have to stay optimistic about it. I personally decided not to think about the worse or whatever anyone has to say about the relationship but rather focus on the relationship itself.
- Trust your partner: Am not a love doctor but I learnt to trust wholeheartedly. This reduced the many doubting voices popping up in my head. GB is obviously going to be spending more time with other people than with me so why not trust him, that he has this.
- See it as an opportunity: As the Chinese saying goes, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of me thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling us apart, I look at the brighter side and believe that through this experience, the both of us will be bound together even stronger.
- Prioritize communicating regularly and creatively: Just because we have a 6-7 hours difference between us, GB had to set a time that is most convenient for both of us to talk endlessly via Over The Top messaging platform like Whatsapp or Skype. On top of that, we try to update each other on our lives and its happening, however mundane some of the things may seem. This helps us talk about anything and everything. But be careful not be overly sticky, spamming and possessive resulting in exhausting the other.
- Keep each other updated on each other’s friends and family: Continuing from number 4 we try to keep up on what’s happening with each others family and friends just because gossips and scandals are always the best things to go on and on about. Don’t mind me am just a playful somebody.
- Enjoy your alone time and your time with your friends and family: I sometimes feel alone but I get to remind myself that am not lonely except I choose to feel that way. My world doesn’t necessarily revolve around the GB as I still have me , my friends and family ( need I say I don’t keep so much friends; but am trying 🙂 ). So of late I have been doing more with my families; like going on a family picnic, going out to visit interesting places, getting a new hobby, writing more blog posts. Pretty much I just had to discover other interesting things that doesn’t involve GB. You can find things to do that doesn’t involve your partner and there are a lot of them.
- Know each other’s schedules: It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and when he/she is free, so that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when he/she is in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting. I know the small and big events that are taking place or will take place in GB’s life just has he knows mine e.g. important business trips and meetings, church meetings/services and etc. This is especially essential just because we are living in different time zones.
- Keep track of each other’s social media activities: This is not just for snooping or stalking sakes alone, its just to share that you care and have each other in mind. Like each other’s photos on Facebook and Instagram. Tweet at each other. Tag each other. Share things on each other’s walls. Be cool about stalking each other.
- Have a goal in mind: We ask ourselves plain and point blank questions like; “What do we want to achieve at the end of the day?” “How long are we going to be apart?” “What about the future?” so we know where we are heading to and that we have answers for such questions. It is of utmost importance that we both know we are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if we are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of us are still working together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.
Look forward to the concluding part of this post and an interesting discovery that will help LDRs in the next blog post.
Are you in a LDR or about to be in one? What other tips help you have a better relationship and how helpful do you think this post is? I would love to know. Please drop your tips and thoughts in the comment box below.
Credit: Life hack